The same with keeping house. I would not consider myself OCD in any sense, but I do like things to be organized and clean. Don't judge, there are lots of not OCD people who like things to be clean. When Josh and I first got married I loved keeping house and cooking, it was so fun. But the more people get added to the equation the less and less stuff gets done. Some amazing super women can juggle work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, baths, brushing teeth, brushing hair, washing faces (this I feel bad about because it seems like our children always have dirty faces), and the list goes on. Little by little I have given up little things that would make life more stressful if I fought them and my house keeping skills have gotten worse and worse.
Now there's photography. I get inspired my magazines and life. I love taking pictures of my children. I love light!!! Composition! It's fun to take great pictures of my family. I have this amazing stay at home mom friend who asked me to take pictures of her girls which caught me off guard. I was nervous but it was fun and turned out good. Those pictures of her girls are my favorite ones (other than ones of my own children). That session was an "aha!" moment for me; the second one I've had in my life; possibly the third. When I worked for Silker Photographic I just loved it - I have been bugging Josh for years to start a photography business. Taking those pictures just confirmed it. I felt like doing photography was something I could do and be happy doing. So what happened? Why does it seem like I'm getting worse at it instead of better?
Friends, if anyone is even reading this, if you have ever felt this way, I feel your pain. Stay strong and trust God. I guess I just keep telling myself that, because everything happens for a reason.
